Ghana 2010: Day 45

In Ghana it is tradition for the family and friends to gather, play music and commiserate over the person who has passed away. I myself have made it a point to avoid funerals and wakes. The emotion is just too much for me. But my aunt would have wondered why I didnt come, I didnt want to disappoint her.

Im sitting under a tent amongst family members and friends of the family in an array of chairs. There's a photo of my cousin that passed, in a chair in front of everyone. My aunt sits on my left, my mother on the other side. In between conversation my aunt will look up at the photo and begin to weep. Sometimes silently to herself, sometimes she would stare at the photo, until she couldnt take it anymore and yell out...

"Akos, Akos Akosua-ey!

Ignoring the arm of my mother trying to comfort her she begins to scream at the picture, she stands up, clutches and pulls at her belly, conversing with the picture of her child in Ga. Its so painful to watch. Even more so when a young boy of about 8 yrs old (my cousins nephew) takes a sit in front of the picture and begins to cry, his 3 yr. old sister comes up to him trying to console her brother by sitting in his lap. I can only imagine the thoughts that are going through my aunts head. She can't be still, she will sit for a while and then pace to the back of the house. Its hard for her to face the picture. Reminding her of the child taken away from her so young.

I ask my mother to translate what she's saying. My mother struggles to find the words to tell me but she herself begins to weep. Eventually my mother tells me my aunt was saying how much she misses her. How she hasnt eaten since she left her. "How can eat I when you havent cooked for me? Why did you leave me hungry Akos? Oh Akos!"

The purpose of the gathering is to pay respect to the one who has passed and to console the family through community and song. Im sitting amongst these people scattered under the tent in chairs, some off to the side by themselves, eyes closed, listening to the music, singing along to the music, and its clear the words are conjuring memories of her. In mid verse they stop to lament, before continuing. These gatherings are to rejoice in the life of the person who has passed, people are expected to dance and celebrate, even though tears are expected. My mother gets up and starts dancing with her handkerchief encouraging the crowd to get up and dance. "Akosua was not a sad person, she wouldnt want to see you like this, get up and dance for Akosua."

Ghana 2010: Day 45